weimer

hello livejournal world! it's lauralai here. jacob is laying on the spare bed beside me. i'm telling him that i downloaded all of my live coldplay tracks from the internet. it's not really the truth, a friend gave them to me. he's singing now, though. cute, in a word. we just watched urban legends 3 and i had to cover my eyes the entire time because the film as so terrifying. jacob didn't like it. he's walking out of the room now. i don't want to sit here by myself, especially after watching such a scary movie. i'm not tired yet. boy & i have been drinking cola all day. i cooked him lunch, it was super. it actually tasted quite lovely. i'm by myself now. i've got coloured popcorn & skittles. i love coldplay. love love love. i love jacob too. more than coldplay even. maybe.


love love.

im reading the study of the personality of Hitler )why he is so fucked up(

finding i have a lot in common with this man.
sorry. because this [is] offensive.

violence and paranoia are a bad combination when everything is a battle before god.




also there is a girl
who promises me a naked photography session for this post.
i love her.
she is valkerie and should be the queen of the earth so eat me.
for more information on my girl go to her gay lj account that exists in cyberinternetland not unlike this one. i think her account is titles loveisacalamity. check the spelling of that with your english teacher or a trusted dictionary.

for more information on hitler's personality:
www.lawschool.cornell.edu/library/donovan/hitler/
look at his relationship with parents. so true.

this may be the last post
trying to fly is a fruitless task. but addictive.

jacob(me) is formally inviting emojack back to LJ.

persuasion:

follow the auto-children
to jumps in one week (high&dry)
toward the north cult
every thursday&october
and lollipops
to find the sash (and his letter)
on a little white bus,
to the boarding house
...to good for lj?

just have it ("here...")

If you have been rejected
many times in your life, then
one more rejection isn't going
to make much differance. If
you're rejected,don't
automatically assume it's
your fault. The other person
may have several reasons for
not doing what you are
asking her to do: none of it
may have anything to do with
you. Perhaps the person is
busy. or not feeling well or
genuinely not interested in
spending time with you.
Rejections are part of
everyday life. Don't let them
bother you. Keep reaching
out to others. Keep reaching
out to others. When you
begin to recieve positive
responses then you are on
the right track. It's all a
matter of numbers. Count 1
the positive responses and
forget about the rejections.

Ten seconds left until midnight
Nine chances to drown ourselves in black hair dye
Eight faces turned away from the shock
Seven windows and
Six of them were locked
Five stories falling
Forever and ever
Three cheers to the mirror now there are
Two of us, can we have
One last dance?

Jet Black - the ink that spells your name.
Jet Black - the blood that's in your veins.
Jet Black - we say, "How long can we take this chance not to celebrate life?"

Barbwire Stapled In My Mouth That Bleeds Me
Locked In A Cage
Naked Animals Beat Me
And A Savior Knocks
An Untamed Puts In New Batteries
And Charges Once Again, charges once again, charges once again, charges once again
We Set Off
Into The Unknown
Until We Destroy Everything And Are Dominant
Once Again, once again, once again, once again
Once Again In The Back Where We Ride
Again The Barbwire
In My Mouth That Rips Up An Old Healed Wound
Have Become A Rusty Soul
The Electricity Is Gone
I Want To Cut
And Slice Myself To Death
But I Don’t Have The Courage
I Rather Turn Myself Off
I’m Alone Again

Keep the noise low
She doesn't wanna blow it
Shaking head to toe
While your left hand does "the show me around"
Quickens your heartbeat
It beats me straight into the ground.

You don't recover from a night like this
A victim still lying in bed, completely motionless
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whisper, "This is so messed up."

Upon arrival the guests had all stared
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,
He'd headed straight for the stairs
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,
Unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships

(up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up)

He keeps his hands low
He doesn't wanna blow it
He's wet from head to toe and
His eyes give her the up and the down
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up
But the body on the bed beckons forward
And he starts growing up

The fever, the focus
The reason that I had to believe
You weren't too hard to sell
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up
Die young and save yourself.

DAY,day, what an disirable day.

stupefying girls and boy... and the /feasts/
arrested development
Oh the Love in the little group today
German Girls, Jack&Anika,Uwy&Katerina
and ofcoarse
the best friends&
itchy grass&chippies&jewelry&cookies&drumsticks&water&coke&+&+ other refreshments
special needs
holidays coming soon.outternet

kooyanaqatsi+thursdaylive+porn(!!)+zoron+cheek+other Boyfriends. publish? nice. so sleepy

last night my dads modem drivers defected amd now we are both
-the interent

and why did i forgive and forget? he better watch for karma.
--
do you love your God?
yeah.
Guns?
yeah.

KILL A MAN

my can't my head just work properly?

i can fight it.

heart is broken

the tiny tatters fail
as the tiny heart flails
it moves in its own way
cant always hear its say
but i can hear it now
and she says: break
my heart is broken
i cant remember
that it ever worked

/chorus or whatever/
fight the brain
ingor the strain
sing over the heart
how is this my art

the tiny tatters flail
as the tiny heart fails
the symbol of your face
this is not solace
im not sure what you took
running out of places to look
and she says: break the gaze
i cant remember
how i got staring

/chorus or whatever/

pre-eminatly shattered
i still havn't said a word
nothing that you would have herd
this parabola is down
this is all i feel anymore
i cant remember
death hurting before its time

the tiny tatters fail
as the tiny heart flails
it may not be as big as Mars
smashed, trickeling along like glass
the heart is broken
cant hardly hear what its spoken
but i can hear it now
i cant remember
hating myself, so much

i have thought of the best analogy of my life and im not going, or atleast now, try and put into any kind of artistic form.

im like a old television. at the moment im trying as hard as i can to tune into a station, any station will do. but try i might - sometimes getting a flicker of picture onto the screen then just as quickly it is gone, back into fuzz and blur.

time just marches on, as someone said, and i just cant seem to stop it and catch myself and get control of what happening. i have no control over anything. you might say my life is like a movie. im watching this movie of my life and i just cant do anything to see whats happening. most of the time im yelling at myself... yelling at the tevevision set... and it has as much effect. so the question: do you hang around and watch a bad movie? do you stop it and return it to the video shop. rewinding this movie back to the start and playing it again, does nothing to change the same bad movie.

PROCEDURE #1

While resting in bed calmly
assemble all the facts about
your
anticipated achievement
see yourself in the
POSTURE
OF SUCCESS

Rule over your troublesome
imagination.

-be-a-winner-
DELETE EVERYTHING
negatve. be a winner.

i spend the school week waiting, waiting, wishing for the weekend.
i spend the weekend waiting for the school week to start
where does the downward spiral end

just running out of things to be positive about
cant think of anyone i wouldnt rather be.

"waiting for our lives to start, its always just ahead of the curve" Thursday - For the Workfoce, Drowning

thursday are going into a silverchair style recession.

...im over it

yes this is the campaign
slithered entrails
in the cargo bay
neutered is the vastness
hallow vacuum check the
oxygen tanks
they hibernate
but have they kissed the ground
pucker up and kiss the asphalt now
tease this amputation
splintered larynx
it has access now

send transmission from
the one armed scissor
cut away, cut away

banked on memory
mummified circuitry
skin graft machinery
sputnik sickles found in the seats

self-destruct sequence
this station is non-operational
species growing
bubbles in an IV loitering

unknown origin
is this the comfort of being afraid
solar eclipsed
black out the vultures
as they wait

dissect a trillion sighs away
will you get this letter
jagged pulp sliced in my veins
i write to remember
'cause i'm a million miles away
will you get this letter
jagged pulp sliced in my veins
i write to remember...

oh my god, oh my god. this song is amazing.

American Thursday vocalist Geoff Rickly sings in Icelandic. is that Icelandic? because ive heard its a made up language by Sigur Ros:S

a huge word up to sooz for hooking me up with a ticket to muse. the best money i've spent in my life.
MUSE BOOYEAH :)

...who else is a muse goer?

koyaaniskatsi (from the Hopi language), noun.
1. crazy life. 2. life in turmoil. 3. life disintegrating. 4. life out of balance. 5. a state of life that calls for another way of living.

koyaanisqatsi is one of the best movies that ive seen. im getting it on dvd very soon. definatly a movie that you shouldnt die without seeing.

"If we dig precious things from the land, we will invite disaster."
"Near the Day of Purification, there will be cobwebs spun back and forth in the sky."
"A container of ashes might one day be thrown from the sky which could burn the land and boil the oceans."

ps- speaking of gear to check out- check out the band Milemarker. thaey arnt big .... yet but ther shit is rad

accept that these riddles and sayings the humans speak in naturally distorts the truth

i just made a fucking promise to myself.

no more drugs, no much socialisation and less eating until my band is up and running.

i have so many ideas. i just wanna use them.

right now i am crying. ashamed of myself for not ever playing a set. i just want to play. and our lungs fill like parachutes

any and all help would be apreciated, with helping me keep my promise.

this live song always gets me emotional.